I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
