you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
