your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
