You can't motorboat a personality
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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