And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We left an ass print on the piano.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
