Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
