I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
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