does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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