the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
