her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
