Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
