I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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