His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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