I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
God, I missed his penis.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
