just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
