hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
