i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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