i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
