you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
