I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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