i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
What a dumb baby whore.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
