You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
