It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
