If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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