Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
