Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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