Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
