I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You are the jesus of drinking
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
