wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
