Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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