I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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