but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
