So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
