Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
