In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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