Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
