I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How external is "for external use only"?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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