We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
