He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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