Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is her dick bigger than yours?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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