How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
