Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
