I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
