I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
