It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
