Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I could fuck to npr.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
