I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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