so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
