Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Randomize
