they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
