It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
