I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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